And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm at about main and main street
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
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But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
