brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
