You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
