as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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