Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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