On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
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