dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
