Don't you send me to vm
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
