nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
