3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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