Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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