I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
