I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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