it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
