The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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