I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
