Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
