don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
