Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
