An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
