My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
