he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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