I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
