Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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