he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize