HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
