I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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