when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I think my moral compass just broke
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