hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
