Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
