How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
