Sry I called you an 8
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
