Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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