guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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