No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
