Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
