He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
our cab driver is having phone sex.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
the liver wants what the liver wants
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
