so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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