operation harelip BJ is a go
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
