So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
