It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
