i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
