Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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