Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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