Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
