Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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