it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
