I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
