I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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