Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
How external is "for external use only"?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
