He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
