Buhtt sex?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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