Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize