Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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