This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
so let's talk penis.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize