dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
