im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
