YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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