I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
