I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Your cock deserves a montage
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
