dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
So gin and wine won't be happening again
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
