Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
