Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
